thrift store

Only Through Great Restraint

Restraint: rɪˈstreɪnt

2 [uncountable]the act of controlling or limiting something because it is necessary or sensible to do so.

wage restraint

They said that they would fight without restraint (= completely freely) for what they wanted.

3 [uncountable]the quality of behaving calmly and with control

self-control The police appealed to the crowd for restraint. He exercised considerable restraint in ignoring the insults.

In conclusion:

I saw this TV tray at a yard sale. I didn’t buy it. ‘Nuff said.

– Laura

p.s. “A-Team” puffy stickers were available at the same sale. I left those behind as well. I deserve a flippin’ medal.

p.p.s. My next few posts will be noticeably shorter due to the fact that I will be unable to type for a little while. I’m sorry or you’re welcome, depending on how you feel about my blog. 😉

Time to quit my Jibba-Jabba! Later, Fools!

July 24, 2013 1

How to Make an Upscale Chia Pet Alternative in Five Easy Steps or: ONE MAN’S PAST IS ANOTHER GAL’S TREASURE

So you say you long for the nostalgia of ch-ch-ch-chia…but you want a unique and elegant alternative? Well read on my sprout loving friend, read on!

If you have a pulse you have probably, at some time or another, either owned a Chia Pet, seen a Chia Pet, or at least seen the Chia Pet commercial. They debuted in the late seventies and are still made today.

I recently found a treasure that got my mental gears spinning. It all started when I saw the item pictured below:

There he sat, at an estate sale in Pacific Palisades, partially obstructed from my view by a table and a set of redwood patio furniture. I was immediately drawn to this object, for what reason I cannot explain, but I really liked it. After staring at it for a bit, I realized that the grooves in his “hair” were somewhat reminiscent of Chia Pets and I thought to myself: “Hey! I could grow sprouts on that crazy cool head!” A deal was struck with the proprietress and I was the proud new owner of a well, er, whatever this is exactly. Not quite a bust, certainly not a statue, but…something!

When I brought it home, my original plan involved Chia seeds. I even went so far as to purchase some at my local Trader Joe’s. If you live in a much warmer climate than I, or if you want to grow yours indoors, you could go this route. As it turns out, Chia seeds need a steady temperature in at least the high seventies for optimal growth. Night time temps here get fairly crisp, even when the weather is moderately warm during the day, so that was out for me. I knew I wanted to display this item in the garden.

This was actually a bit of a blessing, because the more I imagined the finished product in my mind, the more I could see that I wanted something a little bit more subtle, a little more refined. Not that I object to campy or even outright silly, but in this case, it just didn’t fit. I didn’t want the objet d’garden art to look like a chlorophyll rich Phil Spector, for heaven’s sake!

I had some things left over from another gardening project and I wanted to use what I had on hand. I had some succulents, including a large flat of a fairly small and low-growing variety. After eyeballing them side by side I came to the conclusion that the succulent ground cover just wasn’t going to work. I very loosely laid it on top just to be sure, but as you can see, it looked flat out redonkulous.

I’ve been a little obsessed with moss lately, so, after a hearty laugh, I went instead with a few different varieties of moss (all gathered from the yard) with a few tiny succulents thrown in for good measure. Here’s how to make it all happen:

Step 1. Buy a crazy random item for one dollar. Mine is a head, but it could be ANYTHING! You could use a garden gnome, an animal statue of some sort, or something simple such as an orb. Spritz your item with water.

Step 2. Apply a small amount of enriched soil on the moistened item. Spritz liberally once more.

Step 3. Apply moss in sections, pressing down firmly as you go along. Spritz the back of each section with water before applying and wet thoroughly after each section is attached.

Helpful hint: Shortly after beginning this project at an outdoor table, I realized that transport was going to be problematic until it was well established (a couple of weeks at least.) Even though it was a bit awkward to finish everything with the head already on the ground, I set it into place and finished everything up there.

Helpful hint: I used three different types of moss because I wanted a mottled surface. I didn’t want it to look too uniform. Whatever type you use is up to you.

Step 4. Add a few random succulent pieces. Base the size of your pieces on the size of the item you’re using. Mine were quite small. Succulents are very hardy and quite resilient. I grow them often by simply breaking off a piece from one plant and shoving it into a pot or the ground…AND THEY ACTUALLY GROW! No need to root them in water, just let ‘em go at it!

Step 5. Mist until well soaked. You’re done!

Some follow-up:

It is important to keep your item well watered for the first few weeks. Once it takes firm hold you won’t need to be quite as vigilant. Moss needs very little water and can tolerate more than you might imagine.

After I finished mine I decided the neck looked odd because the ground around it was so bare. My garden is a work in progress…other than some trees nearly everything in the yard was dead, with no grass, etc. Since I’m renting, I am keeping my budget as low as possible in the back yard. So far I’ve found some plants at yard sales and done a few things, but because the ground is still empty overall, I just thought the head needed a little extra something. Using some moss and unplanted succulents from another project, I filled in just a bit around the base.

Another alternative is to “paint” your item with a moss sludge (I actually went back and added just a bit after steps one through five, just for good measure.) I wanted instant results, at least to some degree (it will still have to grow in and really fill in, this is just a start), so I didn’t use solely a moss sludge, but for details on how to go this route, check out the following link:

http://wp.me/p2YY9u-cU

Now that you’ve seen how to make it, I’d like to tell you a little more about the history behind it.

After completing the transaction, the woman running the sale and I chatted further, and details began to emerge that made my recent acquisition seem all the more precious. What follows is the Reader’s Digest Condensed version of the story that she shared.

Her parents, both from the Ukraine, met in New York and fell in love. Her mother, a free-spirited creative type, was an avid gardener and artist. There were examples of her pottery throughout the sale. The items she had amassed over her life were varied and interesting. Some of them rough, some of them refined. Most of them interesting. The head was made by her mother and the model was her father. Sweet story.

Now I am loving this item more and more.

Then she continues. Her parents (separately, having not yet met) left the Ukraine during the Holocaust. Her father’s story was compelling. When he was a young man, he was rounded up and packed into a train car with over 100 other Ukrainians. Everyone on the train was a stranger to him, with the exception of his lifelong best friend. He and his fellow captives saw little avenue for escape. The train was speeding along, far from any town, the doors were locked and the only ventilation on the train car was a TINY window at the very top of the wall, near the ceiling, far out of reach of all on board. The general consensus was that all was lost.

Against the advice of his fellow prisoners he and his friend were determined to attempt an exit through this tiny window. First his friend, and then he were boosted up by some of the others on board and managed to wriggle through the window. He was knocked unconscious when he hit the ground for, he believed, over an hour. His time estimate was based on the frequency with which trains passed through the area and the fact that the noise of an approaching train is what brought him back to consciousness. Realizing that being spotted by a passing train meant likely death, he scurried away from the tracks and into a wooded area as quickly as he could manage. He was unable to find his friend, because the train was going so fast that even going one after the other they were far apart. He never saw his friend again. He never knew if his friend survived the fall, if he did whether he was able to find his way out of the country or whether he might have been found during his attempted escape.

But the woman’s father did escape. He left his home and came to the United States. He met a crazy, quirky and beautiful woman. He took her to southern California for their honeymoon and she refused to ever leave again. Refused. He went back to New York, packed their things and drove back across the country…WHILE SHE STAYED IN CALIFORNIA (this gal wasn’t kidding folks!) With no job, no home, no clear plan. He just leapt. Again. And when he told the story to his children, or to friends he told the story with laughter and love. He cherished his quirky wife and her headstrong attitude.

He bought a home, raised his children and lived his version of the American dream. Because he took a chance, because he flung himself from a speeding train, flung himself into an unknown country and flung himself willy-nilly into his life with his family.

I didn’t ask how he died (it was a true estate sale…both parents were gone) but we know how he DIDN’T die. It is estimated that upwards of four million Ukrainians were killed in the holocaust. This man wasn’t one of them. In the face of one of the ugliest examples of what mankind can be capable, he survived. And he didn’t become ugly simply because he had experienced ugliness. He loved. He lived.

They say that one person’s trash is another person’s treasure.

Well, in this case, one person’s past has become another person’s treasure. It’s not just another purchase…it is something which will BE treasurED. It’s a Chia Survivor! A Chia Hero!

And just in case you are wondering if my repurposing this piece into garden art is disrespectful in some way, I told the woman at the sale (before she told me her parent’s story) what I had in mind and she was 100% on board. After hearing the story I mentioned that now it seemed a little, well, frivolous. She disagreed. She thought her mother, especially, would have loved it.

I know that every time I look at “the head”, I will be reminded of the journey that lead it to my garden.

Fling yourself headfirst at life people! You never know who you will touch along the way, or even after you’re gone. Make all of those touches meaningful…touches for which you know you’ll be proud to be remembered!

-Laura

July 17, 2013 6

SNOW SHOE SPRUCE-UP or: How to Make a TARDIS Jacket in Five Easy Steps!

So you say your pre-loved item needs to be depersonalized or a less than ideal item needs to be customized? Well keep on scrollin’, my friend…

Last winter, I needed boots for cold, yucky weather. My wallet needed me not to need boots for cold, yucky weather. Clearly, we were at an impasse.

I went to a moving sale.

Said moving sale had advertised “LOTS AND LOTS OF SIZE 6/6.5 SHOS AND BOOTS!” (The author of the post left out the E, but I was pretty sure I knew what she meant.) Well, hot diggity dog! Now you’re playin’ my song, yard sale ad posting lady! I’m in!

I arrived just in time to see a woman walk away with what appeared to be every pair of shoes at the sale. She had an oversized clothes basket filled with them. MOUNDED! OVERFLOWING!

Drat.

Oh well. Next time.

But then what did I spy with my little eye? These very waterproof Sorel boots, which appeared to have been worn only once or twice. They were barely even scuffed on the soles! Oooooh! I was giddy with excitement!!! I raised them aloft in my right hand, pointed to them with my left and was just about to ask the proprietress the price when I saw it. Scrawled in ink (SHARPIE ink, no less) on the outside of BOTH shoes, the name of the former owner (her daughter I assumed.)

Drat.

Oh well. Next time.

Hand came down, pointer finger assumed the at ease position.

“I know!” called the proprietress with a shrug. “Nobody’s gonna buy those.”

I nod, sympathetically.

“If you’re buying that” (she points to the hardcover copy of Bill Bryson’s “At Home” that I have since picked up) “you can have the boots.”

Rrrr?

Yep. I’m in.

I had no idea how I’m going to get Sharpie off of waterproof nylon, but I was going to try…and try I did!

To no avail.

It wouldn’t even budge! I couldn’t even achieve success at a slight fading of the marks.

So what now, you ask?

Well here’s what I told myself: They can’t get worse. Even if I attempt something drastic and it’s a complete flop, no big deal…they were free and I don’t really want to wear them as is. A grown woman with her name written on her boots would be sad enough. A grown woman with SOMEONE ELSE’S name written on her shoes? Now that’s too far.

Soooo….

Step One: I grabbed a silver paint pen and a gold paint pen, left over from a project my daughter had done a few months ago and without preamble began drawing daisies on the boots. I completely obscured the Sharpie scrawlin’s and it really didn’t look half bad! It’s not fabulous, but it’s passable and the boots worked as a stop-gap measure until I found something better/cuter/less paint-penned. 🙂

Step Two: There is no step two! You’re done! Relax and enjoy the rest of your day! 🙂

Let it snow!

Imagine what you could do with some forethought and a rainbow of paint pens!

This project would, of course, work on a variety of items, not just snow boots. Keep scrolling for just one of the projects this one inspired my daughter and I to tackle!

After the success last winter with the snow shoes, I found a vintage Members Only jacket at a yard sale this past Saturday. That, in and of itself, was a pretty righteous score, but the fact that it was blue got me to thinking. What if my daughter Hadley and I made a TARDIS jacket?

For those of you out there who aren’t Doctor Who fans, I’ll explain. The TARDIS is The Doctor’s spacey wacey, timey wimey machine. It looks like a police call box. If you’re not into Doctor Who, feel free to make a jacket for yourself with Mork & Mindy, The Cat from Outer Space, Alf, or any other alien, however inferior they may be to The Doctor. Nobody is judging you. Ok, yeah, we’re judging you. ALF? Really?

Here are the easy steps and some pointers for customizing a jacket of your own (no sonic screwdriver necessary):

Step 1. Gather your supplies:

Get a jacket: I suggest something in a fabric such as waterproof nylon, Gortex or with manmade fibers. (The paint is less likely to bleed.)

I am of the opinion that if one is attempting a project for the first time, it’s advisable to start with something in which you have very little invested. I spent only one dollar on this jacket. Maybe you have one laying around that you don’t wear anymore, that has a stain or you could pick one up at a yard sale or a thrift store. (This way you’re less likely to bleed money.)

Get a pencil, an eraser and some paint pens: We used DecoColor paint pens. It is important to use permanent (oil based) pens for a project like this and NOT water based…otherwise the colors will run if they are exposed to any water. It also makes clean up trickier (see below) but there’s no way around that if you ever want to launder your item, spot clean it, or if you live in Seattle.

We found ours at Michael’s Crafts and used the weekly 40% off coupon (available in their flier, online, or via the Michael’s smart phone app.) These paint markers are available on their website:

http://www.michaels.com/Uchida-DecoFabric-Marker—Basics/gc1666,default,pd.html?cgid=products&start=25

Get snacks: We made poor choices. We went with Trolli PeachieO’s. PeachieO’s are available at Michael’s Craft stores, your local Gas n’ Sip, or anywhere snack time dreams are dashed.

Now that you have your supplies it’s time to get with it!

Step 2. Look online for a picture of the TARDIS to use as a blueprint of sorts. This is the picture Hadley found:

We used this picture in an effort to keep things really simple. We weren’t going for over the top fabulous, just easy and straightforward, because it was the first attempt.

Step 3. Sketch out what you want to paint in pencil before you make it permanent. Picasso’s first word as a baby was “piz” (short for lapiz…the Spanish word for pencil) so, yeah, don’t get too cocky here. If it was good enough for Picasso, it’s good enough for you and me. If you’re going for something with a lot of straight lines, winging it might not be your best option in this case.

Helpful hint: Before you start drawing and especially before you start painting, put a piece of foam core (always my first choice if I have it on hand), cardboard, or at least some paper bags or plastic between the layers of the garment and also between the garment and the surface on which you’ll be working. This obviously protects your furniture, but placing a layer between the front and back of the jacket gives you something of substance on which to press your pencils/pens. It also protects the front of the jacket from paint that might soak through.

Step 4. At this point start going over what you did in pencil with paint pens. In our case, Hadley drew the white outline, I filled in the blue and then touched up the white. This version is VERY simple, but you could get much more intricate if you have the time and are so inclined. In our case we are starting the project mere hours before my blog is scheduled to “hit the presses”, so intricate was off the table. We’ll be adding more to the jacket later, so check back for updated photos. 🙂

Helpful hint: In our haste some of the paint was smeared. We tried fingernail polish remover to take out the smears with no luck, but Oops! took it RIGHT off, leaving zero spot or residue behind. Oops! is pretty great stuff to keep on hand. It is available at Sherwin-Williams. I sometimes have trouble finding it, and since one can lasts almost as long as two presidential administrations, by the time I need another can the store where I bought it last has normally stopped carrying it, has gone out of business, or has been replaced by a Starbucks. Starbucks doesn’t carry Oops!

Corporate bastards.

You might want to take a break at this point. Wait a few minutes while the paint dries before moving on. You MIGHT consider Trolli PeachieO’s. I advise against it.

Step 5: Go back, fill in, touch up, wear and enjoy! Allons-y y’all!

Again, check back for a more finished product. I broke my finger and projects/typing have been a challenge…but there will be more to come soon!

Nanu-Nanu,

Laura

July 10, 2013 1

THE BETTER WAY TO STORE YOUR BLING!

So you say your jewelry needs a home? Read on my well accessorized friend, read on.

This week’s project is quick and easy, anyone can do it, and (hint!hint! fellas) it’s a great surprise project that will make your significant other giddy with joy! Imagine the look on your loved one’s face when they come home to find what you’ve made for them!

Do you have too much bling for a small jewelry box, but want something a little more unique than those mass produced jewelry cabinets? By using a piece of furniture you already own, or finding an inexpensive one second-hand, you can have something much better, for much less!

Over the years I have accumulated jewelry. Most of it from yard sales. I thin the crop from time to time, but I find that with jewelry, you just never know when you’re going to need that one quirky necklace, that classic cuff bracelet or those Ren and Stimpy shrinky dink earrings (IT COULD HAPPEN! I MIGHT WEAR THEM AGAIN!) As I have an affinity for vintage jewelry (and have a more difficult time discarding the vintage pieces) my collection needs a home.

We’ve all had experience with attempting to make jewelry storage work in a small box or drawer. It doesn’t. But does this mean we’re doomed to a lifetime of untangling necklaces which have seemingly fused together in one giant mass, or searching in futility for the mate to your favorite earring?

Fear not! All of your jewelry storage issues can be solved in an afternoon!

Here is a step by step on how to make it happen:

Step 1. Measure the inside of the cabinet, drawer or drawers you plan to convert.

Step 2. Cut foam core (it’s a bit like poster board, only thicker. It has a layer of, you guessed it, foam, in between the layers of thick paper) to the size of the drawer. The size should be pretty darn close to the size of the drawer. You can go a SMIDGE smaller to allow room for the fabric and batting, but I kept mine within ¼ of an inch.

Step 3. Lay foam core on top of batting. Cut batting about 1 ½” wider on all four sides than the piece of foam core.

Sidenote: In case you’re wondering no, step 2b. was not “have a glass of wine or three”…my pictures just didn’t turn out so well. Apologies for the blurry ones above and below!

Step 3. Do the same with the stretch velvet, cutting the velvet just a little wider than the batting.

Side note: The back of these pieces are not visible at all once they are installed, so I didn’t even try to do a neat job when I was cutting the batting. My scissors were old and dull and it all looks like a hot mess…, but don’t fret, it doesn’t matter one whit once it’s all in place.

Step 4. Begin taping first the batting and then the velvet to the back of the foam core. I have tried this with other projects and duct tape works best, as long as one is not worried about the back of the project looking “clean.” I have used glue, staples and other forms of tape. None were as effective. If it matters to you how the backside of the foam core looks, you can cover it with black felt after you finish. Start with one good sized piece on the center of each side. It doesn’t stay in place super easily at first. It’s more manageable if you enlist the help of a willing friend, or an unwilling teenager who would rather be watching John Green videos on youtube. Your helping hand can then hold the fabric in place while you tape, or vice-versa.

It is important to pull the batting and fabric taut, but not too taut, or it makes it even more difficult for the tape to hold both in place. It’s not an exact science. You’ll figure it out as you go along. 🙂

Step 5. Continue taping the batting as if duct tape grows on trees, next, tape the fabric as well, until it is completely covered. Then put several additional layers of tape over what you’ve already done, in order to secure it in place. On the corners, pull it towards the center, forming a pleat and tape like crazy. Watch as it slips out of place. Swear. Tape again. Invent new swear words. Tape yet again. When you have effectively depleted the duct tape rainforest to such a degree that Pete Seeger is knocking around some ideas for a song about you, add one more layer, and then rest.

Once you’re ready to “hammer out” the remainder of the project, move on to the next step:

Step 6. Place in drawer. If you did it just right it should be just a little tight. That way it won’t slide around inside the drawer. My pictures aren’t too great…it looks as if the fabric is wrinkled, but I’m not sure why…I think the flash picking up the nap of the fabric. The stretch velvet actually stayed wrinkle free.

Step 7. For the left hand side of my cabinet, which was an open space rather than drawers, I added LED tap lighting. It would have been fine without, but it was a little dark, and not only that, but the lights made things sparkle and look pretty. These amounted to a decent portion of my budget for this project, around seven dollars at Target for two, but in the end, I think it was worth it. They install easily with double sided foam tape (included.)

Next I added hooks to the inside of the cabinet doors and to the inside of the open cabinet compartment. Because this was a reasonably decent piece of furniture, I used Contact brand adhesive hooks, which won’t damage surfaces. I had an old pine armoire years ago that I used for a similar purpose and used chrome screw in cup hooks. I actually prefer the look of the cup hooks AND they hold larger items more comfortably. Whenever I attempt a project such as this one I always try to allow room to grow. In this instance I added more hooks than I need right now.

For the interior of the cabinet, in addition to hooks and the tap light, I added another black velvet liner for the “floor”, a black velvet jewelry display for necklaces and bracelets, and I also used some decorative dishes for storing extra bracelets. I found my velvet jewelry display stand at a yard sale for a dollar, but they’re not priced out of reach even at full retail. They are available in a few different styles and sizes at JoAnn Fabric and Craft stores for between 2.99 and 29.99, are frequently on sale and JoAnn also offers a weekly 40% off coupon for one item.

Here is a link to the JoAnn website showing the display stands:

http://www.joann.com/search/_velvet%20jewelry%20stand/

Here is a link to their coupon page. There is almost ALWAYS a 40% off coupon. I used mine for my fabric:

http://www.offers.com/joann/?path=bpa-r2zo-gls-100a1a&ablpid=2344&kw_id=582-417989&k_click_id=1ffda10f-2467-7a69-0372-00004c54e048

You can also get the JoAnn app for your smartphone. This way you always have the coupon on hand and don’t need the weekly flier.

I tried to keep like items together, pins, earrings, rings, etc.

The wider, lower top drawer was perfect for extra long or heavy necklaces and I also used it to store jewelry cleaning supplies.

All in all, I was pleased with the outcome!

I ended up with two extra drawers, and lined those with velvet inserts as well, because I had enough left over materials. The extra drawers could be used for sweaters, delicates, etc. Either way, it’s bonus storage! 🙂

I spent just over 30 dollars for all of my supplies and it was worth every penny!

So, there you have it…your own custom jewelry case is just a trip to the Salvation Army and the fabric store away!

I’ll leave you with this:

“The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize” – Clairee Belcher (“Steel Magnolias”)

– Laura

June 26, 2013 3

HOW TO FOLD SHEETS PERFECTLY or: ONE MORE REASON I ADORE MY GRANDMA

Does your linen closet look like it was last organized by a sleepwalking bandicoot wearing mittens? Well, read on for the tools you need to skin that bandicoot and neatly fold his hide!

(The author’s grandmother, a few years ago, just before she turned 90.)

I love linens. I love truly fine linens. I love vintage linens. I love unique linens. I love drying off after a shower with thick, plush, white towels. I love that moment of slipping into crisp, cool, freshly laundered sheets. I love a newly made bed.

I also love a beautiful, well-organized linen closet. My former linen closet and I, however, have been torn asunder.

I used to own quite a collection of linens. I acquired vintage chenille bedspreads galore. I amassed dozens of sets of vintage embroidered pillowcases. I folded and stacked antique quilts aplenty. My collection has since been pared down rather substantially and the reason is twofold. The first being that I simply decided it was time for much of it to move on to a new home, but before I tell you the second reason, let me tell you a story.

When I was growing up, I spent a lot of time with my Grandma Beck. I love my grandma. She is sweet, generous, hilariously funny, industrious, self-reliant, and she’s just contrary enough to let you know that all of that sweet is genuine (and to keep you on your toes.)

(Who rocks comedic eyewear? Beck does!)

My grandma loves to feed people. If you want to make my grandma happy, mention that you’re starving, she’ll be thrilled. If you’re not ravenous, she’ll settle for a tad bit peckish, and if you can’t manage either of those, for heaven’s sake at LEAST say you might have room for a sliver of pie (FYI: your “sliver” will be 1/6 of an entire pie.) As you might imagine, I’ve spent a lot of time in my grandmother’s kitchen, most of it sitting at the kitchen table, watching her prepare food.

At this point you may be wondering what ANY of this has to do with linens. Well, be PATIENT!

Growing up, I loved watching my grandmother cook. Of course I enjoyed the end result because she’s really good at it, but I liked the process too. Her cabinets used to make a SNAP sound when they closed that I can still remember. Snap! Snap! Snap! During the cooking process she would sometimes swear (her rated G version) when something like bacon grease popped on her hand, she would often set off the smoke alarm with the heat from what she was cooking, but she would always, at some point in the process, while attempting to retrieve a necessary implement or ingredient from the deep dark recesses of a poorly designed corner cabinet, while wielding a flashlight she kept in the cabinet for these occasions mutter: “I’d like to get my hands on that old man that designed this kitchen.”

Anything in construction that is poorly thought through, in the estimation of my grandmother, is CLEARLY the work of “Some Old Man.” Bathroom stall doors that open IN, rather than out? “Some Old Man.” Basement steps that are too steep? “Some Old Man.” Cabinets with three feet of nearly unusable space? Everybody together now: “SOME OLD MAN!”

It gradually came to my understanding over time that when my grandmother uses the word old in this or a similar context, she doesn’t necessarily mean advanced in age. She is using old as an ersatz swear word. I think what she meant was: “Some D#*% Man.”

After moving into the townhouse where my daughter and I live now, I realized that the house had NO linen closet. None. The building was constructed in 2005. No linen closet? REALLY? I uttered these words before I even realized what was coming out of my mouth: “Well, it’s pretty obvious that SOME MAN designed this house without even bothering to consult with a woman.” Sigh. Yep. I skipped turning into my mother and went straight to becoming my grandmother. You know what though? SHE’S RIGHT! The things in my current home with which I take issue are all things that I have to believe could have been easily remedied with a quick conversation between the builder and a woman with even the tiniest bit of savvy. They built a pantry, but did not see fit to include electrical outlets in said pantry, forgot to leave room anywhere in the kitchen for a trash can, brooms, etc. The only additional closet in the house is a coat closet (which should only be said with accompanying air quotes) the size of a priority mail envelope. There is not a place in the entire house in which to store your vacuum and the bathrooms are a wanton waste of space devoid of storage and with no medicine cabinets.

Please understand that I’m not complaining. I am merely observing. Everyday. Every day I observe what “Some Man” has wrought.

DAMN YOU “SOME MAN!”

And there it is. The linen closet – Grandma Beck connection.

As you may have guessed, the lack of a linen closet was the second reason for the thinning of my linen collection. It’s not nonexistent; it’s just been carefully pruned to only the most necessary, most beautiful or best-loved pieces.

And now, after all of that, we get to the point of this post:

THE VERY BEST WAY (In my humble opinion), BAR NONE TO STORE SHEETS!

I call it the “sheet packet.” The sheet packet makes it unnecessary to go scrounging through your linen cabinet for pillowcases. The sheet packet makes it a quick grab and go exercise when it’s time to change the bed. The sheet packet (and this is my favorite part) looks neat and tidy when you open the linen closet door and gaze upon your home’s necessaries.

Here’s how I do it:

First, fold your fitted sheet. Everyone seems to have trouble with this step. It’s easier than you think. There are lots of tutorials out there on how to fold a fitted sheet, so I’ll keep this quick: grab a corner; we’ll call it bottom right. Turn it inside out with your hand inside. Take the top right corner and fold it over your hand, right side out. Move on to the top left corner (inside out), lastly, add bottom left (right side out.) Shake out the edges and lay it on the bed. At this point you should have a square with ONE curved corner. Neaten it up (easily done when it’s laying down rather than trying to do it while you’re holding it.) Put the curved corner on the upper left, so that these instructions will make sense. Fold the left edge inward about a third. This means that now your curved edge is gone, you’re left with a rectangle. Now fold the right side in by about a third. Now, fold up from the bottom, in thirds or fourths, depending on the size of the sheets.

Set aside.

Fold the pillowcases next. I fold mine once in the middle, with the open edge left on the top, flip them over, fold them by thirds, then in half again…so that when they’re flipped over the decorative open edge is on top and no raw edges are showing on the sides or the front. Place the pillowcases on top of the folded fitted sheet. You should have something like this:

Set aside.

Fold the top sheet in half, bringing the bottom to meet the top edge. Now fold in half side to side. Lay flat on the bed and smooth out any wrinkles. Set your fitted sheet in the center; with the pillowcases still side by side on top of the fitted sheet.

Bring the “raw” edged side of the sheets in first (meaning the side that doesn’t show a fold, but does show the open edges of the sheets.)

and then bring in the other side.

Next fold up from the bottom, covering the fitted sheet,

fold the entire packet over once more and VOILA! Sheet packet!

From the front you’ll see only the round folded edge. From the sides you’ll see only clean edges and when you’re ready to change your sheets you can grab the whole thing with one hand and you’ll know that you have everything you need!

By the way, my grandmother did eventually get a new kitchen. She was in her eighties when it finally came to fruition. New range, new dishwasher, new countertops and yes, new cabinets…including a corner cabinet with rotating shelves designed by someone other than “Some Old Man.” Her new corner cabinet is Beck approved. She deserves it. I’ll miss the snap the old cabinets made, and I suppose part of me will miss her snapping at That Old Man…but it makes me happy to think that she is content.

– Laura

p.s. Now you know from whence my contrary comes. 😉

June 12, 2013 13

The Provenance Makes it Personal

So you say it’s all just used junk? Well, I happen to disagree, my friend!

WHY THE STORY BEHIND MY “STUFF” MAKES ME SMILE

I like pretty things. In a lot of ways, it’s as simple as that. Who doesn’t? I think we can agree that pretty things are, by and large, universally liked. You’ve become pretty jaded if you start saying: “Ugh. Pretty things? Pfft. No thanks.” That said, that’s not the only reason the things in my home make me happy. Obviously some things have a place here because they’re practical. Quite a few things are in my home because they make me giggle. There is one thing that almost all of the items in my home have in common and that is that they have a story.

This vintage crystal dish was a recent aquisition:

It was a chilly Sunday afternoon and my daughter and I were out and about. We went to an estate sale, which, having been held Friday and Saturday as well, was in it’s final death throes. At most estate sales, by the end of the day on Sunday the carcass has pretty much been stripped clean, the bones left to dry in sun. The first hour or so of an estate sale is a frenetic feeding frenzy. Folks are hopped up on the adrenaline that can only come from the thrill of possible treasure, filling their arms with pre-loved riches and rushing from room to room snatching up lace doilies and mismatched kitchenware as if they’re on some real life, musty scented version of “Supermarket Sweep.” By Sunday afternoon, a random shopper will wander through occasionally, mostly with looks of disappointment or scorn, surveying what meager offerings remain, eyeballing the poor soul having the sale almost as if it is a personal affront to them that nothing is left.

This particular sale, much as it’s proprietress, had retained some of it’s youthful beauty. In my, never to be humble, opinion, there were a few reasons for the quantity and desirability of what remained:

1. Location: Not only was the property off the beaten path, but the GPS map was even a bit “off” in how it displayed the street, which was actually more like an alley.

(Side note: Always keep a graphic street guide handy folks! Don’t become so dependent upon GPS that you forget how to read a map. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, do you think you’ll have GPS? No! Hope for the best (no zombie apocalypse) prepare for the worst (zombie apocalypse) and you’ll be better off for it.)

2. There were very few signs. What signs there were had been poorly placed and had no arrows.

3. The prices were high. Not “have you been smoking crack?” high, but pricier than the typical yard sale clientele are eager and willing to pay.

4. The prices were high because her things were VERY nice…however, because they weren’t nice in a flashy or ostentatious way, but were nice in an elevated and refined way, a lot of patrons were overlooking their value. She knew what she had and wanted a fair price for those things. For instance, she had a leather bound Bottega Veneta organizer. Now, had it been a Louis Vuitton organizer swimming in “LOOK AT ME!” LV logos, it would have been snapped up early on. Because its mark was embossed, quietly, on the inside, shoppers had passed it by.

4. On Saturday, when I had first visited the sale, the woman hosting it was, well, let’s say not bubbly. Ok, why mince words? She was flat out unfriendly. It seemed as if the process of people mauling her treasures, approaching her with said treasures, which she had carefully accumulated over a lifetime, and offering her 25 cents each for them had in some way offended her and affected her mood. Who woulda thunk it?

So, for all of these reasons, my daughter and I, the only people browsing at this point, found ourselves oohing and ahhing over some pretty fantastic stuff.

The crystal dish above was an item I had seen on Saturday. At that time the woman hosting the sale, a beautiful woman in probably her late seventies, who my daughter described as having “great style and the perfect glasses”, had, when I chirpily asked the price, snarled at me that it was “Twenty dollars and not a penny less.” On Sunday, her mood had softened. She was lovely. The stress and anxiety of Saturday had left her and she chatted freely, sharing stories of every item on which we commented. I touched the dish on Sunday and she told me that it sat on her mother’s coffee table for decades. Looking at the dish she said: “Do you like it? You should have it. It’s only five dollars. Please take it.”

I have to say, I had no business spending even five dollars that particular day, I went because I thought we might find some things that my daughter wanted. But in that moment, I grew attached to the dish. I was enamored with it and with her. The dish had grace and a casual elegance. I was impressed with her grace, and her elegance. Even her only thinly veiled superiority was charming on that day, rather than off-putting. Also endearing was that she clearly wanted me to have that dish. Not that she wanted to make the sale, please understand. It was something different. Perhaps in her mind it would go somewhere that it would be cherished, rather than hauled off to Goodwill.

I paid it. I gave her five dollars. I brought it home, washed it, dried it and set it out, and guess what? I do cherish it. The crystal has soft gentle curves and feels almost silky when I touch it. The lid’s finish is imperfect and I love it’s aged patina. When the light hits it, it explodes in a rainbow of colors. It feels to me as if it belongs in my home.

As much as I cherish the dish, what I cherish even more is that every time I look at that dish, I’ll remember that day. My daughter and I had a wonderful time, we laughed and talked, we had a lot to say on the way home after the sale…about the house, about what we had found (even about the items we left behind!) and about the woman who we met. She was special. For whatever reason, that day was special to me.

All of these things, all over my house, they have a connection. To their previous owner, to events in my life during the time in which each item was purchased, to how they connect in ways small and large to everything else in my home. I appreciate them. Tremendously.

Have gratitude for all of the little things all around you.

Every day you wake up and there’s NOT a zombie apocalypse, appreciate it. 😉

December 29, 2012 3

A Magical Mistake

So, you say you can’t afford Christmas presents?

HOW TO TURN A BLUNDER INTO WONDER

Yesterday I shared how I think when I miss out on a bargain I’ve seen. Today, I’m going to show you what my daughter did under similar circumstances.

My daughter Hadley’s favorite part of Christmas is watching other people open their gifts. I know, but you can roll your eyes all you want…she really means it. Even when she was a young child she wouldn’t ask for anything. She was so wrapped up in the giving that she forgot to care about the receiving. I don’t know what I did to be so lucky, but I have a really amazing kid. Every year she spends a great deal of time on gifts for her friends and family.

(My mother and me…check the rockin’ collar on Mayme’s shirt, y’all. Pretty sweet.)

This year, due to circumstances beyond our control, for the first time ever we won’t be with family and she and I won’t be opening gifts on Christmas morning, but we’ve found a lot of other ways to make the season special. For one thing we’ve saved up several weeks of “The Soup” without watching and we’re thinking marathon! Oh Joel McHale, you wise-crackin’ tall drink ‘a water, you’re gonna save Christmas!

Hadley created uniquely tailored gifts for all of her friends, things like mix cds (with her own custom artwork) and other homemade gifts. For one friend she wrote a story customized just for her. For one friend, a fellow “Doctor Who” fan, she made two medallions from Shrinky Dinks paper, each in Gallifreyan (if you don’t know what this means, trust me, you don’t care), one which translated into ‘Buddies’ and the other into ‘Space and Time‘.

There was one gift, though, that she really wanted to give to her good friend Lexi Rose and that was a Harry Potter wand. A Harry Potter item which required retail goods. Lexi loves Harry Potter and Hadley was set on giving her a wand. Nothing else would do. Not long after she told me this, I was in a Goodwill store and found, of all things, a Harry Potter book of posters and inside the book was a wand!!! What are the odds? Hadley wasn’t with me, she had walked next door to get something to drink, but I went to get her, asked if she wanted it and we rushed back. I was gone maybe three minutes. MAYBE! Well, of course you know where this is going. it was gone. Vanished. Snapped up by another shopper. We scoured the store just in case, but to no avail.

Obviously we were disappointed, but nothing was going to keep Hadley from handing over a wand to her friend on the last day of school before Christmas break. This kid puts the T in tenacious.

Finally it was decided. She would find a tree branch (see last Friday’s post…we have nothing if not an abundance of yard waste) and fashion a wand herself.

Time passed.

Days passed.

Other projects were completed and the gifts wrapped, some even delivered.

Now began the last minute crunch. My daughter is wonderful. She is kind, she is compassionate, she is creative…aaaaand she can occasionally fall into the trap of procrastination. Procrastination makes me nervous. It makes me so nervous, in fact, that seeing someone put things off is sort of like watching a horror movie. You just KNOW that vapid, nearly topless cheerleader isn’t going to find the quarterback behind the locker room door. But you have to watch her walking blithely toward her doom, unable to change the course of events. So, as the days went by, I would open my fingers from where they covered my eyes and peek out…hoping to see progress.

It is my humble opinion that nagging children is by and large not only a worthless endeavor, but when it comes to something such as this, unwise as well. Hadley is who she is and, She’s not me. She needs to live her way. Much like my incredibly talented cousin, she often proves to thrive and prosper in that squeaking in just under the buzzer, last minute slide into home way of operating when it comes to projects. Both of them manage this in a way that I cannot. Nerve-wracking? Yes. Impressive? Also, yes.

Around 10pm on the last possible night, as Hadley was wrapping the second to the last gift, she went to find a stick and asked: “What knife should I use for whittling?” WHAT KNIFE SHOULD SHE USE FOR WHITTLING? Um, unless we have a stash of Andy Griffith knives about which I am unaware, we don’t have knives predesignated for whittling, and as much as I like Lexi, she’s a really great gal and all, I wasn’t really on board with the bread knife meeting its early demise for the sake of the wand.

Well, apparently, that was 50 points from Hufflepuff for me, but I redeemed myself by suggesting a pocket knife, which we happened to have, thanks to my grandmother (yes, REALLY, my grandmother) and Hadley set to work.

Her plan was to whittle the branch into the shape she wanted, stain it and apply a coat of polyurethane. The late hour left that plan an impossibility, due to dry time. So what did Hadley do? She put a coat or two of clear nail polish on it!! It looked AMAZING! Then she added red Swarovski crystals on the end (Lexi is team Gryffindor all the way.)

You might think that she would have stopped there. YOU would be as mistaken about that as that poor cheerleader was about NOT running into a slow, scary dude in a hockey mask. Hadley took the box from a roll of parchment paper, covered it in white paper, printed out an Ollivander’s label (if you’re not super nifty cool and knowledgeable like us, Ollivander’s is the wand shop in the Harry Potter books) and added that to the box.

Did she stop there?? Nope. She then wrote a bit about the provenance, history and significance of the wand, printed it on heavy vellum-like stock in a font that looked like handwritten script, rolled it up in a scroll and tied it with twine.

THEN she was finished.

It was sweet. It was special. It was one-of-a-kind. It meant something. But here’s the part that’s most impressive: It was nicer and better looking than the one we missed out on at Goodwill the week before.

I wish I had better photos. It was late and we were both tired, I snapped a few with my phone, They look terrible, but believe me, it looked like a million bucks.

So the next time you miss out on some material object and you’re kicking yourself…kickstart your creativity instead!